I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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