man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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