dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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