well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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