I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
