well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
