well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
