Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
