Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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