Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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