I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
