I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
