I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
