My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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