Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
