I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
