I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize