She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
