Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
