is your mom at the bar?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
