He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
