Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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