Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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