i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
