Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize