He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
