TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
