You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize