I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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