Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize