So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Congratulations! We have a period
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