First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
