your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just invented taco cereal.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
