I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
