She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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