sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
