I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
