don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Are we still banned from the library?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
