What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
