i was born a porn star she said
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
