I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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