her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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