he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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