Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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