i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
