conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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