Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize