i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
