PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
