How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
