I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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