you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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