i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
