White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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