Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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