Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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