So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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