just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize