i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
