So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
