That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
