why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
