Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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